So far in my college experience, there’s always been one class every year that makes the brain do antics it really isn’t equipped for. My first year, it was Astronomy. The only saving grace for that class was that the professor at least tried to make students laugh; however, my failing efforts at physics and calculating the angular distance (is there such a thing? I could make up garbage words and they’d still sound real to me if they were part of the science spectrum) between the earth and the moon were far funnier. Spectators laughed as I cried. The astronomy manual is streaked with the melodramatic fall of my tears as they formed a watery obtuse angle between diagrams of the sun and moon.
But life goes on. I was a naive freshman then, agog with the energy and passion of being in an American college, and when I wasn’t calculating my astronomy-doused tears, I was very much into the idea of “building a good foundation” or whatever it is the liberal arts core prides itself on. Calls and messages to my friends would often show my glee at “gosh, I’m learning things I normally wouldn’t have learned, thanks to my freedom-encouraging courses at a flexible college.” My attitude was as snotty as it could get, I think.
Turns out that the things I normally wouldn’t want to learn are remarkably repulsive to me for a reason. I am now in one more science class fulfilling a requirement for my journalism degree, and I’ll be downright shocked if I can find a course I despise more than Communication Sciences and Disorders.
I have loathed this class since the first day I walked into that auditorium and the introductory presentation tried to provide the salaries of professionals in this field and the degree requirements. All I heard that day was “I am paying for a class that gives me information I could Google.” But, understanding and mature and reasonable as I am, I decided to give the class a few more weeks: it wouldn’t be knock-headed enough to talk about salaries every class and persuade me to abandon all my other dreams and immediately start my devoted studies to become a future speech-language pathologist.
Tough luck and lol@me. I really couldn’t bring myself to give the remotest semblance of a shit for which part of the ear produces earwax. I can say with confidence that I really did not care to pay college fees to watch this professor play excessively long earwax removal videos. That’s why I dislike this class the most: no matter how much my other classes made me want to remove the hairs off my head one by one, at least I learnt something new and valuable to me and my interests, something I could, if I squinted really hard, see myself using in some way, major or minuscule, in the future. All this class teaches me is new upgraded ways to manage my fiery anger.
I paid $31 for a textbook that I will dispose of for probably not more than $0.0008 at the end of the semester. This is a textbook I will use after this semester over my dead, earwax-filled body. A textbook that I did not even need until five weeks into college and then only barely. That is the price of 4.5 Chipotle rice bowls. That is the price of 15 aloo parathas that will last an entire semester. That is the price of 30 gallons of milk. What do I use this great amount of milk for? Filter coffee. How often do I drink and use filter coffee? Every damn day. Is it a regular, useful, practical part of my present and future life? Yes. Does coffee tell me that Kim Kardashian has something in her throat called a vocal fry? No! CSD212: 0, coffee: 1.
Biology is fantastic for everyone who didn’t choose to leave it behind in the tenth grade, for those who are pursuing medical careers and for the general betterment and welfare of the world. Every major is noble in its own way. But not one that teaches an aspiring, disinterested writer about the uses and formation of earwax. I think this is the only time I’m incorporating class material into writing material, and guess what, I’m not getting paid an annual salary to do it. Joke’s on you, CSD212.
- Otology
- Education
- Biomedical engineering
- Computer Engineering
- application Designer
- Acoustics
- Physics and math
- Counseling
^Yup, on further thought and meditation, all of those do sound like me!
The Fourth PowerPuff Girl 